God Googles, So Should You!
I hope everyone had a great mother’s day weekend. This mother’s day, my wife, mother, and I went to my grandmother’s house. We grilled out and had a great time.
One of the reasons we had a great time is because my grandmother invited a friend of hers from her church. You see, my grandmother is very religious. She goes to church and participates in many church events. My grandmother does not know that I am an atheist. (That’s a whole other post that I’ll make another time.
Anyways, while we’re there her friend is talking about choosing a church and one thing made my ears perk up. I’m going to paraphrase here, but it went something like this.
“I was looking for a new church to go to, so I started to pray. Dear lord, please tell me which church I need to attend to provide myself and my son guidance. Then God spoke to me, he said, “Why don’t you try googling for a church.” I was like, “Wow… God uses the internet!”
As you can probably imagine it was all I could do to keep from laughing my ass off. Apparently this all powerful, all knowing, entity decided not to tell her which church to go to, but to “google it”.
HAHAHA… “And the lord said unto Matthew… “Thou shalt google!” And Matthew googled, and the lord looked upon him and thought it was good.”
After that we sat down for dinner. After we got into the discussion of separation of church and state. She said that she believed in it, but that you’ll never get all the God references out of our government. I then posed her the question:
“Do you agree with ‘In God We Trust’ being on our money?”
She said, yes. I then asked:
“Suppose one day the majority religion in the United States changed to Islam and congress voted to change it from ‘In God We Trust’ to ‘In Allah We Trust’. Would you agree with that?”
She said, no. To which I then asked:
“Why?”
I tell you, it was awesome to watch her try like hell to justify her bigotry. She went off on several tagents, avoided the question, applied some amazing mental gymnatics, and yet still never answered my question.
I tried two or three more times to get her to answer the question, but she always deviated away from the question. Try as she might, she could not answer the question because she knew that her belief was a bigotted one.
Not wanting to be an asshole I let the issue go and the conversation moved on from there. I had fun though watching this self-proclaimed theologian squirm 
