Think: Reason

Would You Tell Grandma You’re an Atheist?

I don’t mean to make stereotypes, but for a majority of people, their grandmother will likely be a fairly religious individual. If you’re grandmother is not, replace it with an equally religious elder of which you respect deeply.

My grandmother is an extremely religious person. She attends church regularly (has for most of her life) and even volunteers in many church programs. I’m an atheist, which makes family get-togethers, a bit interesting.

For years my grandfather said grace. I just quietly bowed my head while they prayed and nobody had to be the wiser. Last August my grandfather passed, and with my father living out of state my grandmother wants to leave it to me to say grace. This puts me in a really bad position. I don’t want to give thanks to something I don’t believe in, but I don’t want to hurt my grandmother either. Especially not so close to the passing of my deeply religious grandfather. Thus far, I’ve said something to the affect of, “This is your home, I’ll allow you the honors”.

Personally I feel that there’s no reason to tell her what I am. I have two reasons for this:

1. To undo that many years of indoctrination this late in her life would be close to impossible if not impossible. I also wonder, what good would come of it? She’s not out preaching to other people, she holds no seat of power. She’s and old woman quietly living our her days, happily believing that she’ll be re-united with her husband of nearly 60 years in the afterlife. What kind of an asshole would I be to try and take that away from her?

2. Since my grandfather has passed, her church has been extremely helpful. The day my grandfather passed they sent people of the church to her house in four hour shifts to look after her and help her with whatever she needed. This carried on for a week or more. She’s joined a “grievers” group with her church that’s help her talk about my grandfather. During the holidays, someone from the church comes over to spend time with her to ensure she’s not alone.

So here’s a couple of questions to my fellow atheists out there:

1. I fully understand teaching children that faith is not acceptable, but is it worth trying to convince someone like my grandmother?

2. Do you think there would be a secular group that would provide my grandmother with as much loving care in her own local community as the church has?

Sound off in the comments below.